Today I am hating on boys, love, and just relationships in general. Perhaps this epiphany is a result of watching too many Mike Falzone videos, or because I've watched 'He's just not that into you' or because the Valentines Day is looming, but I suddenly came to the realisation...why the heck would somebody my age want a relationship?
At this point in life, it is acceptable to not have a boyfriend, infact it seems to be the norm. Sure the odd couple emerges and is happy, but being 'alone' and whatever isn't seen as out of the ordinary. The older you get the less acceptable this becomes. Mike Falzone says in one of his walk and talk videos that a good relationship is 50% you being completely happy with yourself, joining with somebody who is also completely comfortable with themselves. And I sure as heck am not at this moment who I want to be.
I am working out new things every day. I change my opinions every week. My personality is changing so quick that I cringe at the person I was mere months go. I am NOT a stable person, but I feel that's fine. Now is the time when I'm meant to be working stuff out. And I don't feel as if another person to worry about would help. I don't completely love myself, so why should I expect someone else to?
I think I need to stop making excuses and feeling sorry for myself. It's not MY fault. I don't need to dress better, be prettier, or change myself to be loved. I am who I am and that should be fine. And if somebody doesn't want a relationship then its fine. Or just specifically with me. That's fine too.
I solemnly swear 'He's just not that into me' is my new mantra. For when somebody doesn't text....it's fine. He doesn't HAVE to. But when he eventually does text I shouldn't jump at he first sign of need. I don't need it.
One more thing; no more mind games. Playing hard to get? The clue is in the name....it makes life hard. Actually finding love should be easy, and if two people like each other then they get together. But if two people like each other but one is reluctant yet they remain in the same place? Bullshit. What's the point?
No more being messed around. No more moping. I'm literally a toddler in the world of love, and I'm trying to run before I can walk. So I think I'm just going to sit on my nappied buttocks and just play in the sandpit while I'm still young enough to.
And when on Thursday I receive no flowers at my door/ no proclamations of love, I'll just be thankful I have one less thing to worry about, and more time to sit down and enjoy life.
I'll save wailing about my single status till I'm middle aged and bitter shall I?
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