Ishy day

Today I went to my English Teacher at lunchtime. I was instructed to bring all the poetry I have written this year, to sort through and make an anthology for my coursework. I showed her 'Beside You' (yesterday's post) and I think she was nearly sick.

"Are you in love? Why so whimsical? It doesn't mean anything? How are your curled in the soles of his feet? Ae his feet bare? Dirty feet? Does he have socks on? Every rib? Isn't that a bit wierd? The folds of his shirt? What kind of shirt? Is it cotton? Can you feel his warmth through it? What colour is it? Nothing is concrete Beth! Sow don't tell! Have you experienced this? When? Ate you in. Relationship with this boy? WHAT DO YOU MEAN KIND OF? Are you together? Oh so are you not together? If you say kinda one more time I swear...Never to wake? What? Are you dead? Have you died? You die beside him is that it?"

Needles to say she didn't like it. I agree its a very strange feeling abstract poem, with no real backbone, but I wrote it because I felt I needed to. And if am not going to edit it,just leave it be as a personal poem that I can just enjoy, remembering how I once felt.

I'm not bothered, as my English teacher is usually right about most things. And I do agree with her, but still. Why must I describe it? Does it matter that his shirt was white cotton, soft and sweet smelling, I wondered if I smudged all my makeup off nestling into it? Whatever.

Today has been a hard day. It started with a tweet of misery - "don't really see the point in college today...or in life to be honest" - which surprisingly got 2 retweets a favourite and a reply of "#cutforbeth" which just proves that misery is appriciated on twitter.

Apart from that, a rushed essay, a bad targeted grade from the teacher who hates me, the canteen running out of chips, and realising I've passed on last weeks cold to said owner of white shirt I do so want to bury myself in and now he's really ill and I feel guilty and I haven't done tomorrow's maths homework...today has been interesting.

Good points: I didn't wear a coat. Only a jumper and my denim jacket which looked actually ok for once and was warm without coat wear. And my hair stayed curled than usual. Yes. That's it. That's all the good points of today.

I hope tomorrow is better (it usually is).