Let it be known...

...that today is historic as the day AM came out.

Fight

I came in at10 from a Chinese night at my friends, and now it is one o clock, and have recovered from a shouting match thatturned into a massive cry on my mum as my dad hastily retreated from female shows of emotion.

It apparently is all my fault. Everything. 

So I broke down, because ok it may be my fault but it's only be ause I'm concerned with so many other things, like reading EVERYTHING and writing poems and writing my personal statement. But if I don't come down and show them the work, it's like I've not even done it.

My dad and I are like opposites. He plans everything to the nearest detail whereas I just kind of go for it and work it out as I go along. Both ways get you to the same destination I the end. My way may be slower but I find some cool things on the detour.

Ok I'll admit it. I'm young and stupid and scared and everytime I try to look at university websites the stats and links start to dance and I shut it before the weigh of my future smothers me. My brain just switches off as I go into panic mode and fight or flight kicks in. Too often it has been flight recently...

I'm trying to change that.

Blast fom the past

Everybody's favourite...drunk blogs with Beth!!!

URGH. Wh does it only ever ki k in properly when I get home? URGH. My parent yet hate me.

His smile could light s thousand castles, but it was like sand draining through fingers. No matter how hard you tried it could be preserved and held in your hands.

Lol. Poetic.

Write drunk edit sober lol lol was that Wilde or hemmingway? Who knows who cares loooollll

Things that anger me

The fact that my mother; a music teacher; cannot use iTunes. 

I am not a computer whiz that can solve all her problems. The assumption that just because I spend a lot of time on the Internet doesn't mean I actually know how to work things!

Oh god I'm doin that thing again

When I forgot to write. I'm out of habit!!!!

On the plus side I've one a draft of my personal statement, but it is sadly pure twaddle. Oh dear. Hopefully some nice teachers can sort it out.

Tomorrow I am going to see my PT about changing some things and I'm going for the fitful approach,which may not work but at least I am beinga honest person woop and lets hope she respects that. She's blind and it's kind of amazing, like she replied to my email from her iPhone and all I can think is "wow how did she do that?"

Shoot

Starting again

Right lets give this another go shall we?

I hereby promise to 1) blog every day

2) put some effort into it

3) carry on till new year

4)never speak of this August disaster again. Everyone needs a break sometimes though!

I'm glad to be back.