Books books books

A recent trip to the library cheered me up immensely on an otherwise awful day. I looked ghastly, felt terrible, even the weather was miserable (pathetic fallacy anyone?)

Books I got from the library:
* The Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick
* Submarine by Joe Dunthorne
* Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
* Sula by Tony Morrison
* The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
* Room by Emma Donoghue
*Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer

Some are recommendations, some I have wanted to read for ages (I.e. the Bell Jar). I wanted to give pride and prejudice another go as the Lizzie Bennet Diaries on YouTube has made me really interested! Plus my friends are reding Jane Eyre so the general buzz is pro classics at the moment. I was drawn to some of the books that have been made into films, as I like to have read the book and not watch the film. It just seems better somehow!

So far I've only started Submarine, which is excellent. Reminiscent of The Perks of Being a Wallflower/The Catcher In The Rye, which are two of my person favourites. I like weird narrators. Possibly because I narrate my own life, and I possibly find some comfort in the weirdness of others'. Oliver Tate (the strange boy in question) also has a fantastic vocabulary, which I will undoubtably steal from.

*Note to self. Books due back on the 20th of February*

I no doubt will post reviews/thoughts if anything interesting is found. I'm just glad to be reading again. I think I've missed it.

Do not read if you haven't watched New Girl Season 2 Episode 15

Wow. Just wow.

After a horrible day of pain and suffering and runny noses, I decided to watch New Girl. I wasn't prepared in the slightest for what happened. Oh gosh.

I think I'm still in shock. I just clutched my fod and couldn't even blink and miss a second. I then went back and watched it again. And again. And again. It is perfection. My OTP has finally happened.

I think I've just waited so long for that moment. When two people you know should be together but nothing ever happens then finally something does and it's like the stars have aligned and all of your dreams come true. It gives me hope that one day that the same thing will happen to me and it will be grand and unexpected and passionate and everything a kiss should be.

I was thinking about this the other day. Oh god. The kisses where your just talking and the words are a meaningly stream of nothingness and you know its going to happen and you just wish it would and you both know it will happen soon but untill then you keep moving your lips untill they're otherswise predisposed and then you're kissing and it was worth it and afterwards there is silence because all that has needed to has been said.


You may be able to tell that I am slightly basorexic right now (having the overwhelming urge to neck or kiss) which is pretty annoying if you ask me. If gone from a massive low to an overwhelming high so high that I feel dizzy, though it could just be that I'm sick.

I would really like a Nick character to yank me as I turn away from him. World if your listening, that would be great. Sincerely, a girl who has been lonely for a while and probably a while to go.

Bruised.

People always romanticise falling. We fall in love. Fall for somebody.

Well today I fell, not in love, but in the conservatory in college. I didn't even trip. My feet just went from under me and I fell almost silently so you wouldn't have even known I was gone were it not for the small girl laying spread-eagled, sprawled face down on the cold hard floor.

There was a look, a laugh from behind, numerous "are you okay"s and the odd concerned glance. Nobody picked me up, but I figure that sometimes you just fall for no reason and you have to pick yourself up because its nobody else's duty to. If you're lying there on the slightly moist floor it is no good waiting for somebody else to come and lift you to your feet.

So I got up, laughed and tried to make my way back to my friends with a smidgen of dignity, despite my knee being on fire and feeling sharp tears in my eyes.

A sad little bruised part of me wishes somebody would have picked me up though.

Thought of the day

You can only find that which has been lost.

Hmv bargain hunt (also faith in humanity is restored)

After hearing the sad news that hmv is going into administration I decided it was probably time to go spend some gift cards (i am a gift card hoarder and must stop) and snap up some bargains.

I thought I'd go and check my gift cards were viable so I walked up to the till and said
"Excuse me but could you please tell me if you are accepting gift cards?"
"We'll since you asked so nicely" said the nice indie man behind the counter, "yes we do".
"We'll after a long shift on a market stall you appreciate manners more" I explained.
"Ah I've done that job. I understand" he nodded then proceeded to scan my cards, and I had £26 pounds to spend. Shop workers I can speak to and laugh to genuinely improve my day. I feel bad because I know that I am not always a ray of sunshine to the customers I serve, but then again many are rude to me. I would never speak to anyone the way I get treated sometimes. But this small conversation with the nice hmv man restored my faith in humanity. Also showing that good can come from misery, though I wish hmv didn't have to close. Where will I get my boxsets from now?

Things I bought:

*Three albums by The Smiths, though one sadly is a compilation which I didn't realise at the time. No matter. I was just disparate to get the onto my iPod!
*Two Door Cinema Club - Beacon. Because sometimes you just need some fun in your life, and I've wanted their second album for a while.
*Beady Eye - Different Gear, Still Speeding. I have Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds so its only fair.
*The Juno Soundtrack. There is such a lovely mix if old classics and kooky new ones. All the Young Dudes by Mott the Hoople is exquisite, and secretly far better than the Bowie version but critiquing Bowie feels blasphemous.


When paying for my purchases, the same lovely man served me. He leafed through my selection, nodded and said "excellent" In what i can only think was in reference to my choices/musical taste.

I think I'll take that as a compliment.

Blanket

I don't quite know what to do because if you just didn't reply then I could deal with it. But you always do...eventually. And when the message comes through I sigh because an hour has past, and you finish with an extortionate amount of kisses so I wonder if is purposeful or if that someone else who you reply to straight away gets that amount of kisses so it becomes a habit so you accidentally give me extra kisses. Or maybe I'm looking to much into this. I definitely am looking too far into this. But sadly you can only work with what you get and you're not giving me that much and now I'm having to think about the silence wrapped around me rather than the sound.

I can't play the games you play I don't understand the rules and whenever I try to play it seems you always win. And I hate you for that. I also hate you because you've but me in this absolutely awful situation where I don't feel like I can talk to anyone else and kissing anyone else would feel like a betrayal which is stupid because it really wouldn't be because I believe if you wanted me then you'd have me. So you obviously don't want me.

You can't just swoop in with your coolness and your loveliness and your crooked smile and your twinkley eyes until I almost believe that something could happen and then it doesn't and then I'm sad over something that never happened. And if there was no chance then it would be fine but I still feel as if there is. You are a tiny star and I am sitting here in the dark and I really wish that daytime would come. Until then I just don't know whether the starlight is enough to keep me warm through this long terrible night.

Snow brings out the best and the worst in us

I thought that the snow malarkey would be over with after my last post. Turns out no. Not a chance.

It started about 4ish and honestly hasn't stopped since. It's a little terrifying. I went to watch a pantomime at my local theatre, and we came out to snow a foot deep!

On the way home, we saw a lad about my age standing by the road, and as we edged slowly past, he grabbed the handle of the car and tried to throw a snowball into the car. Thankfully the doors were locked, but it was still absolutely terrifying. My mum was really stressed driving, so throwing snowballs making her jump was absolutely horrible. Then further up the street some cars were stuck going up a hill, and all the people stopped, got out of their cars and helped to push. When we tried to get out of our driveway we got stuck, but a neighbour came ready; shovel in hand.

It just proves that snow can make you want to cause mischief,but generally people are nice. We all become a community, as we all have the same problem so try to help each other. Never is community spirit better than in adverse weather conditions!

Ombré

I have done a brave thing today. My hair was a complete hair dye-virgin until this day, when I have finally done something out of the ordinary with my hair. I've been playing with the idea for months, as I just love the effect and think it looks beautiful. Honestly a recent re-kindled obsession with Zoella (Zoella.co.uk) was the final push.

I think ombré is lovely as it looks "done" and different, yet also appears low maintenance. Like the sun has lightened your hair or you've let your roots grow out too much!

I haven't had my hair cut in about 5 months so my split ends were absolutely horrid! Thankfully my wonderful hairdresser only took off an inch or two so it still feels nice and long! The colour is just light enough to be noticed, but dark enough to be subtle. I even think I could go lighter in the future, but one step at a time Beth. One step at a time.

I also think I've missed being blonde. I miss the time when I was young and my hair was as light as my heart. Coming out of the salon I had never felt so free. I painted my nails red,and purred lipstick on, and proceeded to prance around swishing my newly lightened locks singing "girls just wanna have fun". There's nothing that gives you a confidence boost more than a new do!

Tomorrow I'm going to walk into college with a new spring in my step, as I try and see if blondes really do have more fun?

I am an Aeolist

Aeolist - A pompous windy bore who pretends to have inspiration

This is how I feel today.

I was on a high after a Uni discussion with my English Teacher, when he started talking about my coursework short story with regards to getting it published *happy dance*.

Later walking down the slope of Everest (also known as my street) I was thinking about the metaphor that if you look up the translucent sky then you may think snow isn't falling at all, and wonder why you have a cold sharp drip in your eye. But only by looking down upon the murky black of Tarmac can you see the snow falling clearly. Then I wondered what the heck I was doing with my life, as I'll probably never make it. Then again, what even is "making it" anyway?

Is all we can ask of life to be happy? What even is happiness? How do I find it? How do any of us feel satisfied, ever?

The after popping into my Nana's and feeling guilty as at my age I'm having an existential crisis, whereas she at my age had bread that cost 4 four-pence, no central heating only coal, yet probably the same worries and fears about succeeding as I do now.

She hasn't cured a disease or changed a law or made any more impact than one snowflake falling onto a snow covered field. I didn't ask what her dreams were, as maybe dreams are futile. But she has travelled and lived and believed and loved and if that's not succeeding then I sure don't know what is, and I can only hope for the same.

Chances, people tell you not to take chances

Taking advantage that I'm in bed before 11:00 for the first time this year (sadly this is not hyperbolic as throughout 2013 bedtime has been lax) and am relaxing listening to Jake Bugg as I have finally acquired his album!

I read somewhere that he only wrote a handfuls of his songs, and many are co-wrote or simply to his original work. I don't know how I feel about this as probably all of the music industry is this way. He just seemed to reek homegrown talent and soul, but you have to wonder if he is just another alien manufactured artist no better than the likes of Pop industry robots (please fill in your own examples of a band/musician you hate - I'd suggest my personal hates but it's all a matter of opinion of course) though his talent is undoubtable. His voice sounds like gravelly sugar beginning to melt in a rustic pan over a hob of pure unadulterated magical guitar.

Maybe I don't care about the deep ethical issues right at this moment, as snuggled here in my bed all I know is that Lightning Bolt, and Jake Bugg in general, is pure genius.

*Obligatory Snow Adventures Post*

You know when you wake up and your room just seems a little lighter than it was the day before? When through the gap in your curtains you just see white and everything seems brighter? Yes it had snowed. Again. The ground was still covered from Friday but this morning everything was covered. The trees had the thick crust of pure white on every branch. I ran to the front of the house to check it was true and yes, I saw the milkman trying to navigate the snow covered roads.

Now, going to a silly college, we were told the night before that college would be open today. And as much as we waited for an email/text/tweet/Facebook message, it did not come. After much refreshing of aforementioned sites, I eventually started to get ready and go outside.

Most stayed off, but the dedicated few plodded to the bus stop. We got on the bus, which took 20 minutes more than usual, and when we got to college it was pretty empty! (By his time we got the message of "College is open but conditions are treacherous and the car park is impassable". That is all well and good, but tell me this BEFORE i get on my bus please!) The novelty of actually being able to find a table in the canteen soon wore off. My maths lesson had 6 people in it (yet we still did work and got homework) and I had no friends in my free.

Abby (the dashing brown-eyed beaut pictured) and myself decided that we'd had enough being martyrs to education, and so we caught the train home, which was breathtaking to see all of the white fields. Even the horrible industrial scatterings around the town seemed clean and pretty.

We then had an afternoon of pot noodles, vimto, and downloading lots of cool music from my iTunes onto her new iPhone,which incidentally all got deleted later on accidentally but no matter!

The day itself was significantly wonderful, because yes We could have stayed in bed all day, but we chose to go, take a risk and embrace life. When the unexpected/difficult comes sometimes you just want to pull the covers over your head until you can't feel the cold anymore. But I strongly believe in getting up, putting on your wellies and saying "come at me world". These are the days when memories are made, laughter is shared and which stories are later told about with pride.

Today has been absolutely lovely, exciting, but mostly hazardous; just as all good adventures should be.

Friendship is like blackcurrant squash / Blog update

If a friend is added, it doesn't dilute the squash. Another person is not water, but cordial, which just makes for a more concentrated, yummier drinking experience.


<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/4633129/?claim=s4258kuntqt">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

I think I have FINALLY worked out this blogging business, and anybody can now follow me either via bloglovin or by google+. No followers as yet but I am excited to go out and follow people myself, as reading other people's blogs is a lovely thing I can do now that exams are over for a good few months!

I am also finally happy with my blog name which used to be "stars to constellations" in reference to the John Green quote from The Fault in Our Stars which reads "My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations". But I felt I was stealing it, plus even though this blog is there my thoughts constellate, the actual quote is more about pain than actual thoughts and ideas. I'm quite happy with Beth's daily Pondering's, as 1) I am indeed Beth 2) thus far we have been daily and 3) Ponder means "Think about something carefully before deciding or concluding" so I think that certainly fits. Not that I think too carefully what I write. It's more of a slap dash 11 o' clock effort if I'm being honest.

That may be a good thing, as I over think everything way too much. Spontaneity is good for me.

Bullet proof. Nothing to lose.

I really love my friends. Like, really.

We just had a lovely night where we played cards and talked and danced to classic rap anthems and sang the cup song and ate pizza and snuggled and it was great.

Plus walking home in the snow was kind of beautiful, having deep conversations and looking at the night sky. The world felt really empty and it seemed like we were the only ones left which was fine because we were linked to each other and could take on anything.

We literally only need each other to have fun. Great night.

Les Miserables is perfection

I feel as If any movie I ever watch will never overshadow how good Les Miserables was, is, and will forever be. I've always loved the musical, but oh my. The film is a whole new level of good and bad and pain and oh my...yes.

I can barely form a coherent response, but I'll try.

Thoughts on Les Miserable:
1) Sobbing is good for the soul
2) I like films with only oldish people in the theatre.
3) Musicals are the best thing in life
4) I didn't even have a favourite part
5) God I cried a lot
6) Hugh Jackman is the first likeable Jean Val Jean I've ever seen. I want him to be my dad.
7) I wasn't scared as Javert, which may just be a good thing
8) Seriously I cried 5 times, varying from misty eyes to guttural howling
9) If Eddie Redmayne came to my door proclaiming his love...think I'd open my gate. Just saying.
10) Anne Hathaway was sublime.
11) I finally understand how the barricade was build I never got that from the show!
12) Eponine girl you need to realise you've been friendzoned
13) My throat hurts from crying. That's how I know it was good

Also. Today it snowed and college got canceled after I did my English exam (which went well) so i got home by minibus then made a snowman called Lester.

Exam-less snow-filled freedom is somewhat diminished by the beauty I have just witnessed. Sob.

Disappearing

The snowflake falls beautifully but then it melts quite quickly till its see through and spread out and it's still there just you cant really see it as much. You don't even notice when it gives up then it's not even there at all.

I wonder where it goes.

At the end of the tunnel of exam season is the light of freedom.

After spending a night "revising" at a friends house - and by revising I mean listening to relaxing music, doing 5 minutes of work before succumbing to the sins of YouTube, Tumblr, and the fun of company - I realised how much exams have ruined my life. I can't remember the last time I randomly just watched a film with someone, or went into town, or went to the pictures, or went on a brisk walk to the recycling facilities at Tesco (this is actually a great green activity for empty Sunday afternoons that you shouldn't knock until you've tried). I'm going to bed earlier due to exhaustion, so missing late night fun things such as tv, and texting people silly things. Plus truth only comes out when your predisposed with tiredness. Now texting is a distraction. Well not really, but I do miss it. My theory is that when life is boring, you textual communication follows suit.

I wonder when my exams are over, if things will go back to the way they were pre-exam. I hope so. I can't wait to watch Les Miserables on Friday and organise some fun outings, and generally get back to life.

The end is certainly near. One more day of revision to go! Though honestly, I'm already at the end of my tether, feeling I'm not really learning anything, and just hoping that some knowledge has sunk in and that we get a nice question (oh please god I need the right questions) but I feel even if I am abit stuck I'll just wing it.

I am aware that "winging it" is not a good revision technique, but in life sometimes you've just got to do the best you can with the resources you have.

Pondering

Yesterday was the first time I let somebody I know read my blog. It suddenly became very real, as even though I've published my blogs, they weren't exactly out there to "real people" that I know. According to my analytical I have had some page views which is funny. If you are a mystery reader that has just stumbled upon my ramblings then hi! Its really hard to think of these numbers as specific people, as opposed to nameless faceless entities. I honestly cant comprehend anyone reading this. What must people think...

I like where I am at the moment. I currently have no followers (and if I'm being honest I don't really know how it works as I am not highly proficient with this blogging malarkey quite yet), so no "target audience" as it were. It is surreal from being conditioned throughout English coursework to constantly think about the reader; his or her needs and how to fulfil them. But what do you do when the target audience is...yourself?

Somedays this feels like a journal, some days like an extract from some sport of metaphorical coming of age book, and sometimes like a generic blog. Though I didn't enjoy my "generic" blog girl outfit post, as it seemed boring. I'm not really into writing about my clothes choices as I personally don't think I am anything original or special. And anyone reading about it should go and look at somebody a lot more stylish! I tried to do it in the style of something that somebody may like to read, and it came out weak and uninspiring!

Back to the point.

On too many social networks I feel the pressure to impress. Hey Facebook! Look how pretty I looked at this fun party I went to. Hey Twitter! Look how cool I am tweeting lyrics to good music, and having witty thoughts. Hey Instagram! Look at this cake. Be jealous of me, my perfect life and my cake.

As much as I try to be real on these things, and as much as what I post is meant to be personal, I feel as if I'm only really doing it to make other people think I am a good person. Why though? These people shouldn't matter. And when I try to show one group something, another will just dislike me for it. I honestly sometimes wonder what the point is.

This is why at the moment I like Tumblr and of course, the medium of blogging. I'm tentative to call them social networks, more like channels of creative expression to similar interesting groups. I don't feel judged on Tumblr as I can post what I like, if I fancy it. If I don't? No problem. On here even more so. It comes to the end of the day and I think about something I want to write. And it could be a massive prose piece, or it could be a brief thought/detail about my life and that's fine.

I don't want to forget my initial reason for starting this blog: to try to develop ideas and a style of writing, but mostly just because I love writing, but don't do it enough. So currently I'm just trying to stay true to my own ideas, and see where it takes me.

Feeling Emotional

It's a well known fact that my grandad got top in gardening in his school when he was young, thus he's obviously where I got my brains from.

I rang him for a general chat and a moan and jokingly proclaimed "You're fine! You don't have to do exams now, you finished your exams. You aren't dealing with the pressures of A Level Maths!"

His reply astounded me.

"No. I got top in gardening though. It's my greatest life achievement. That, and being somehow connected to you"

I hung up pretty quickly after that, as the tears were beginning to form, just as they are right now as I write this.

I couldn't help but think of Mr Bleaney by Larkin.
"That how we live measures our own nature,
And at his age having no more to show
Than one hired box should make him pretty sure
He warranted no better, I don't know."

There's something a little melancholy in the fact that at the end of our life we are able to look back, and try to judge if we mattered. See what was important. There's something happy and sad and beautiful in his sentiment, but I just feel terrible that I'm at the beginning of my life and I'm not even thankful for the amount of time I have. Time is the one thing that you can't buy, sell, or keep. You can only use it. And what you use it for is the most important thing of all.

All I can say is I hope I'm using it for some sort of good.

Time is a healer and a magnifier

I like that in the space of a day, a problem can just disappear completely, like it was never there. That's in a mere hour. I just think how time heals things, how something that seems to matter right now will be forgotten in a week. But years later, what will be the things that mattered? That remained? My guess is the seemingly big things things will be inconsequential and the little things the most important of all.

After my maths exam tomorrow I'm 2/3 done with exams! That is if I get there as its snowed a little today. All I could think was the snow was falling, silencing everything and everyone and nothing seemed to matter because I was watching this tiny unexpected miracle.

I too often forget; life is wonderful.

Sing me to sleep. I'm tired and I want to go to bed.

It's funny how we have mood swings as humans. Like the little things so, insignificant details that somehow effect you. A few drops escape from a faucet and then for a day or two your drowning in the shallow pool and you feel sad and alone and you don't even really know why. I hate it when there is literally nothing wrong. Nothing. And yet you still feel as dense as exhaust fumes, a careless by-product of someone else's whim; Casually poisoning and loosening all those around. And there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop it.

Making mistakes is healthy

That rare moment when life goes well. My astronaut t-shirt was on, lucky star underwear, bazinga bracelets, exam day slap back. I just don't feel as if you can do a truly good exam if your hair is in your face! I felt completely ready, after a morning of past papers, revision cards, and stress eating. Perfect.

And it went pretty well! I never expect exams to be easy, but this was pretty ok. I definitely made lots of mistakes, but I suppose that's life. Make the mistakes, accept your fate. And I sure make a lot of mistakes.

Tomorrow

The shortness of this entry conveys the amount of time I had to write it, seeing that I have an exam tomorrow and sleep is imperative. Sleep, and watching The Big Bang Theory by way of preparation.

I've got the fear

Oh god it's hit me. I need to stop complaining and actually work now. I just got a D in a Physics Mock, and my exam is in 2 days. 2 DAYS THAT IS NOT A LONG TIME!

I have the panic. Oh god.

Plan for evening:
5-6 Past paper
6-7 mark past paper. Do corrections of another one.
7-8 (allowance for tea time somewhere here)
8-9 work on seat belts, deriving equations
9-10 past paper
10-11 Question cards

I am aware this is really boring but if I have it set in stone then I may actually do it...

Wish me luck, I'll need it. (This is my sad yet determined face)

Music of the moment

I feel as if music is the key to revision. Play the right album and the learning seems easier. I tend to alternate between two types...

Gentle, relaxing, brain soothing music for hardcore learning:
*Lucy Rose - Like I Used To
*Alt-J - An Awesome Wave
*The Lumineers - The Lumineers
*The Arctic Monkeys - Suck It And See
*The Last Shadow Puppets - Age of the Understatement


Top tunes for light-hearted learning
*The Black Keys - El Camino/Brothers
*Spector - Enjoy it while it Lasts
*Taylor Swift - Red
*Mumford & Sons - Sigh No More/Babel
*Little Comets - In Search of Elusive Little Comets

But when all else fail I just put on Ben Howard - Every Kingdom, which is my favourite and best (It's impossible to listen to Old Pine and feel unhappy) and just wait for the time when life will be good again...

Plum night

I didn't think I'd say it, but college was good! (Aside from the college-y part). It's strange how the little people you may not even consider are the ones you miss.

Denim Jacket: Debenhams
Purple Dress: Topshop
Boots: Doc Martin
Lips: Clinique chubby stick in Chunky Cherry
Hair: Long lunchtime walk to the chippy + blustery weather + annoying spitting rain = bedraggled
Nails: Revlon 799 Plum Night
Bow necklace: Orelia
Stud Earrings (because I am a massive hipster obv): Topshop.

I love wearing these Doc Martins so much. They're black crushed velvet, and I honestly feel like I could take over the world in them. It funny how new shoes can totally affect your mood. Stomping around all day, trudging through the corridors, knowing I have the power to...well I don't know but I feel as if I have the power to do something at least.

I wish that "something" was revision though. I'm posting early tonight so I might actually get some sleep, if I ever stop worrying about these dreadful exams!


This post seems to be generic of the blogspot genre, but I don't think it's quite "me". I don't put enough effort in. Back to rambly insightful thoughts I suppose!

But yes. Today was good.

College tomorrow

Reason why I am excited to go back to college:
1) I got lush Godmother soap and Dior Addict perfume for Christmas, so I'm going to smell like a summer breeze.
2) Christmas clothes means I may actually be able to look semi-presentable. Tomorrow may just be an outfit post!
3) I miss my friends as I've not seen them pre-Christmas. It feels like years (ahah well it is!)
4) I'm looking forward to a nice Coffee to help my revision go down.

Reasons I am most definitely not excited:
1) It means my physics exam is in 5 days. And that's scary.
2) I feel as if we'll have a mock and stuff hasn't quite sunk in yet.
3) I will have to exchange meaningless hellos, how's your Christmas', and Happy New Years, which just gets monotone by about 10 o' clock.
4) Not seeing certain people in a while means first encounters will be...wierd.
5) And worst of all...my alarm will be going off at 6:45. Oh the joys of life.

Feeling poetic

I really like the idea of kissing in train stations. I just think they're a lovely place to kiss in. With all of the people coming and going and all of the lives travelling together, and all of the minds so secular and lonely and apart. With all of the endless noise of chatter and machinery with the silence of travel and the empty buzz of the tannoy. And all the people around just want to escape from somewhere or something and there you are in the middle of it all; standing still and breathing in the beauty of time, spending precious moments doing something that matters. How many couples will have kissed there before? All partners in arriving and leaving. Wishing that the first moment, and the last moment were the only moments that matters because who knows what comes in between or after?

I like the idea of kissing in train stations. I wish this would happen to me.

In support of John Green

Finally something to blog about!

The Daily Mail and all of its stupidity, trying to suggest that "sic-lit" for children is cruel, and immoral. I'm sorry. Daily Mail, what are you doing with your life?

It dreadfully over simplifies the plot of The Fault in Our Stars by John Green, to the point where I read it, gasped,then refused to touch anything Daily Mail related in my life. I just don't want any of that filth on my hands.

The Fault in Our Stars is beautiful, and insightful, and actually shows cancer victims as real people. So teenagers with cancer can't fall in love? Can't be happy/funny/clever/anything other than an angel with an illness?

The sad thing is the censorship that is being encouraged. This is life. This is not over dramatised or made gory for no reason! The article suggests that another book is the reason for young girls and boys self harming, without questioning mental health or situation. If a completely happy, worry free girl read the book, she wouldn't then go and pick up a blade! Books help us express things, teach us things about ourselves that we maybe never even knew! That's the beauty of it.

Personally I feel a little insulted. At 16, I am the target age for some of these books. I am not an idiot, a hooligan, or anything else associated with my age group. I do NOT need anybody deciding what I should or shouldn't be reading, just be thankful that I do! Unlike the writer of this article, John Green actually understands teenagers - that they can be smart, and have real feelings, and can make decisions.

The guardian responded defending John Green and the genre in general, whilst making fun of the perpetrator in question. Well done Guardian! John Green linked to a song showing the absurdity and the lies that the Daily Mail regularly tells, which I think shows that John isn't actually too bothered about the article. It's like being angry at a naughty baby; it's pointless trying to change their ignorance, as their cognitive development just isn't at that level yet.

John is doing a book tour throughout the UK, and on Monday I will be trying to get a ticket, to meet the author that inspires me, moves me, and at times gives me strength to be the person I actually want to be.
And henceforth, I will never pick up a copy of the Daily Mail as long as I live.

DFTBA

I wish I was more interesting...

Having to write this and edit a photo for my word a day project AT THE SAME TIME in order to complete before tomorrow!
( for anyone thats interested - www.onewordperdayoneyear.tumblr.com )

I hate being so boring.

"LIFE IS FIRST BOREDOM THEN FEAR" - Dockery and Son by Larkin

Perhaps it should be REVISION is first boredom then fear.

Definitely at the boredom point at the moment.

I expect fear In a day or two...

Until then!

Exams are looming...

I finally took up the courage to look at my exam timetable....yup. I have a physics exam in a week and 2 days.

I am pretty scared right now.

After a day of hard core revision, I have finished all my Maths and Physics revision cards, and now must start the arduous task of actually learning... don't even get me started on English Lit!
I don't even really know how I can revise it! Oh Larkin, you genius, I fear as if in a few weeks I will loathe you.

On the plus side, Day 2 of 2013 and no resolutions have been broken so far!
Though on New Years morning (is that a thing? It doesn't sound right. It's like saying Happy Christmas - IT'S MERRY) I drank a mini can of Pepsi because it was the only readily available liquid near to cure the dreaded dry morning throat - but I see my "No drinking fizzy drinks" rule as more of a suggestion for everyday life, rather than an outright RULE punishable by death.

And now I'm rambling.
And nobody cares, because nobody's reading this.
Hm.
Perhaps we'll stop here.

Yes we will.

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it! Boldness has genius, power & magic in it. - Goethe

The calendar is up. Yup. Happy New Year!
I really like my calendar. It has beautiful literature quotes. I shall post pictures as I turn the page every month! For January it's telling me that if I want something I should begin it! So here goes...

Aims for 2013:
1) Continue this blog all year. Saying I will write everyday seems a tad ambitious, but nevertheless it is my resolution to try.
2) Do well at college i.e. do not fail January exams
3) Have many many new life experiences
4) Be the person I want to be
5) Fall in love? (Less of a goal more of a hope)
6) Be happy

I like that a new year is a new start. A chance to chance something. Whereas with others this is weight, smoking etc, mine is to actively live like I want to make something of my life.

What will the year to come hold? Who knows!
That's the exciting part...